adollindallas: Hit the Road, Jack

Now that I've been a Dallasite (Dallasino? Dallaser?) for a whole week, I'm ready to throw down some observations.

In no particular order:

A disappointing lack of "big hair".

Come on, ladies. You KNOW that the rest of the world has expectations - EVERYTHING'S BIGGER IN TEXAS, Y'ALL!

I've seen exactly ONE southern belle with a rat's nest on her head. And I suspect hers was a by-product of some extra-curricular activity. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Look, I'm not asking for much. Some back-combing and a few sprits of hair spray. It's the least you can do. I mean, I drove all the way from LA to be here.

99.9% of people I've encountered are ridiculously pleasant and helpful.

You're wondering about that .1%. I was walking through a shopping center parking lot and a woman almost drove her Mercedes into me. I guess her money was burning such a hole in her purse, she was willing to kill people in her rush to put out the fire. So, naturally, I gave her the double palms up, shoulder shrug, "Eh oh" face.

SHE DID IT BACK.

Felt like I was back in LA for a second.

Where's the Texas drawl?

Most people I encounter have no distinguishable accent. There have been three people I've had trouble understanding. And one of them was Indian (7-Eleven not Casino).*

Locusts.

I haven't seen any. But, I am constantly serenaded by what sounds like those rotating sprinklers some people have on their lawns. My neighbor, Dan, informs me that it is the locusts making themselves known.

I'm homesick for a place I've never liked.

You know the long, slow, click-clack climb of a roller coaster cresting its first hill before the big drop? Every time I go on a coaster, it's during that climb that the same thought stream runs through my mind:

"Why am I here? There are literally a million and one other things I can be doing right now, PRODUCTIVE THINGS! But here I sit, strapped to a seat that will be hurtling through the air in a matter of seconds. There is no good reason to be doing this! Terible idea. I'm trapped and there's nothing I can do about it---- Oh myyyyy goooooooooooooooooodddddddddd" and down we go.

Anyone who's spent any time with me has heard me complain about living in LA. Seriously, I know I've annoyed untold numbers of people with my rants, and to them, I humbly apologize. But I noticed something really strange and unexpected. The further I drove away from the city, and then the state, the stronger I felt that roller coaster feeling edging into my awareness. Surprisingly, I wanted to turn the car around and go back home. And now that I've been away for almost two weeks, I feel a nagging sense of attachment and longing for the place that's been my favorite punching bag for most of my life.

Strip malls!

It's a never-ending sea of shopping centers and restaurants. I'm not complaining. I think you can eat at a different establishment every day for the next twenty years and not repeat yourself. I bow before the commerce gods of Dallas.

And, that's it for today folks. Except for these pictures I took over the last several days. Hope you enjoy looking at them.

(warning: dog-heavy pics follow)

*If you're offended by this distinction, blame Christopher Columbus and his laziness in naming the people he found in the new lands. Also, this particular Indian dude told me in the course of our conversation that Armenians are known for selling cars and Indians for running 7-Elevens. So, I guess you can also take up your argument with him.